Distress Signals from Around the World

International signals which indicate that a boat is in danger!

In American waters:

The sudden appearance of lawyers, the pointing of fingers, and repression of memories

In Italian waters:

Moaning, weeping, and wild gesticulations

In French waters:

Fistfights, horn blowing, and screamed accusations

In Spanish waters:

Boasts, taunts, and random gunfire

In Irish waters:

Rhythmic grunting, the sound of broken glass, and the detonation of small explosive devices

In Japanese waters:

Shouted apologies, the exchange of calling cards, and minor self-inflected wounds

In English waters:

Doffed hats, the burning of toast, and the spilling of tea

India Boating, August ’07


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